#1
I arrived at Sully’s bar at 8.30 as agreed and I instantly realised why this was the location of choice. For a start, it was in a discreet back street in the south of London. You probably wouldn’t even know if it existed unless you were privy to the secrets of the underworld.
The venue was small and dark, and the bar stood in the left hand corner with blue electric lights just above that reflected into the various bottles that were placed on glass shelves. There were about fifteen tables that each had a red lamp on them and they were just big enough to seat four people. In the right hand corner there was a small stage were a band played the blues to a crowd of about six. This was probably the only place still left in London where smoking wasn’t prohibited and the thick smoke formed grey ribbons in the air, and the smell mixed with the alcohol to create a fragrance that was as familiar to me as my own voice.
I looked around trying to see if there was any one I knew. There were just a couple of the old heads but not any of the neighbourhood watch whose radar it was wise to stay under. When I say neighbourhood watch I’m not talking about the old biddies that have 999 on speed dial, I mean the local people who make a living from being the eyes and ears of the street. Some of the big time gangster would pay a pretty mint to be kept up to date with what’s happening on their patch. But I didn’t have to worry. There wasn’t a hood-a-razzi in sight.
I saw him seated in the back of the club smoking what looked like a Cuban and his hand poised over a glass of something that was dark in colour. I decided it was time for me to make my approach. I walked up to him slowly but confidently: shoulders back, head high and I swayed my hips in time to the jazz.
“Donny?” I asked as if I wasn’t sure. He looked me up and down and squinted as if the light wasn’t enough for him to see me. Then a look spread across his face that said I got a taste so bad in my mouth I’m about to spit.
“I thought they were sending a blonde. I was expecting to see a leggy blonde but you’re – you’re black.”
“Wow, you’re quick Donny. So quick in fact I think they should call you bullet.” I rolled my eyes that weren’t blue.
“So what you saying? You disappointed?” no matter how pissed I was I couldn’t drop the façade. If everything was to go according to plan, I would have to stay on my job and that meant keeping this streak of piss happy.
“No you’re lovely for a… you know what I mean.” His face changed through all the colours of the traffic lights while he awaited my response. Green: sick with fear that I would get a gang of yardies or what ever blacks I could round up to beat the shit out of him. Red: embarrassment had his blood steaming like a pressure cooker and the only vent was the pigmentation of his face. Amber: he could kind of relax, my plastic smile told him it was cool and none of that was going to happen – not just yet anyway.
“Yeah I know its cool.” I said taking a seat on the leather stool directly opposite him.
“Irie!” He said with a drunken smile on his face. What a prick. He relaxed back in his chair and was back to being Money Donny. He took up his peacock stance, you know chest all pushed out like a rooster, cockerel or whatever they all them. Yeah that’s it, the biggest cock in this inner-city that we call a farm that sends hen’s to Jamaica or Columbia on trips coming back squeezing nice golden eggs out of their arses for them.
We sat in silence, him checking me out and me clocking him. He had a white Ben Sherman shirt with the collar up like he was Cantona or something and he spiked his mousy hair up and it stood to attention like mini soldiers on guard.
The bluesy Jazz came to an end and the man on the mic asked in his thick Caribbean accent “Any requests?”
“How about some reggae?” Donny shouted back. The band started playing Pass The Dutchie. Oh please I thought. I guess he wants me to feel at home. Next thing he’ll do is ask me if I want any fried chicken. He smiled at his accomplishment. Yeah Donny, one for the team.
Our silence was broken by a crowd of boys walking in. Local henchmen that had probably been given the day off and the heads up about this place by their boss. They were around my age but I didn’t recognise them. “Yeah let’s celebrate innit” said a small golden brown one making his way to the bar. He passed by our table and winked at me.
“Looks like you have a fan” Donny said eyeing the young buck at the bar making a big deal of buying a bottle of Courvoisier.
“The only fans I need are the ones that you plug in to keep you cool in the summer.” I said screwing up my face into a mischievous grin. Donny threw his head back and laughed. He had enough metal in his mouth to make a rapper look lame and the red light from the lamp turned the amalgam a majestic purple.
The boy strutted back passed waving his bottle of cognac like it was the Champions League trophy. Donny started laughing again and I turned around in time to see the boys passing a skinny spliff between them. “ Wow, that spliffs gonna be sucked on by some many different lips its going to think it’s a dick.” I said and we both laughed as the boys were oblivious they were the butt of our joke.
“So what do you want to drink?” Donny asked, half out of his seat already. I shrugged.
“Erm, I dunno, get me a brandy and coke – Hennessy.” Donny raised his eye brows obviously impressed.
“How do you like it: neat or like my marriage?” I was baffled, “ Like your marriage.” I asked.
“Yeah, on the rocks.” We both laughed as I told him to hold the ice.
When he got back, he put my drink down in front of me and he had one for himself.
“Do you reckon they got aircon up in here?” I asked. He told me that he had asked already and they had told him it was broken. He said the only option was for me to take my coat off and then he’ll see how truly hot I am. Did he mean that if I was genuinely hot, I would take my coat off? Or that when I take my coat off he would see me in my full glory. Any way, who gave a fuck? After one sip of that Henny and I was already sweating like a P.I.G. I took my coat off and flung it on one of the spare seats.
Have you ever had the feeling that you are being watched? I mean really leered at? I looked up coyly and noticed that Donny was transfixed by my chest. My red chiffon top clung to all the right areas and the table lamp made my bra show through. The dirty dog even licked his lips. He’d have to be a pedigree chump if he thought he would ever get to wag his tail at this bitch!
The spell was finally broken and Donny piped up with a far away look in his eyes: “That Ganja smells righteous.” I was shocked. I had him down as the ale and cider kind of guy, but not the sort that was into veg.
“What don’t you smoke?” he asked. His face looked just as shocked as mine.
“yeah but I never had you down as the type.” I said.
“What do I look…” He drew a square shape in the air and I smiled.
“Listen, when we first met I didn’t mean to offend you.” A measured look of sincerity spread across his face. “I mean, I’m not a racist.” He said tapping his sovereign ring on his glass to No Woman No Cry. We all know what’s coming next don’t we…
“I got a few black friends.” Knew it! “And growing up in this part of London, who wouldn’t? And believe me when I say Beyonce and Halle are very sexy ladies. I was jus misled. I made a special request. I’m just a straight forward kinda guy and so what’s on my mind comes out of my mouth. But from being with you, talking to you, I can see I can work with you. From what I’ve seen you’re alright.”
“Not so bad your self Money.” I couldn’t believe it. I was already in their and I hadn’t even launched the full assault yet. I thought he would be a hard nut to crack but he was wide open like a hallway.
“So let’s get down to business then.” I said. I took another sip of my drink and felt the cold liquid trickle down my throat and into my stomach, stimulating my nerve endings along the way.
“Okay. I need you to locate and bring to me this guy.” He reached into what I presume was a bag under the table and produced a photograph. The man in the picture was on a beach somewhere hot and he was lobster red. He looked old school. His face was wrinkle free and there wasn’t a grey hair in site but his sagging body betrayed him as an old head. I never saw him before in my life.
“Yeah, okay, why?” I asked sliding the picture back over the table to him.
“Me and him have got some unfinished business. That business is none of your business, but lets just say that he is a slippery character. We once done a deal and he offered his wife up as collateral. I kept my end of the bargain, but the bastard killed his wife and upped sticks, that was just the beginning.”
I pulled a clove cigarette out of my bag and lit it. The pungent smoke filled the air and Donny turned his nose up at my choice of cigarette. I looked through the smoke into his eyes and saw that there was more to the story than this. He reached into the table again and pulled out a small holdall. I looked inside and there were stacks of pink notes and a mobile phone. He told me the £20,000 was for my expenses and that the phone was to use with any business associated with this project.
“So, the nights still young. We can chit chat, get to know more about each other and strategise if you’re interested.” Donny raised his eye brows expectantly and I couldn’t resist.
“Okay, but I’m starving is there any where to eat?” I asked suddenly realising that my stomach was speaking in a language that only food could understand.
“Yeah, here. They do this world cuisine thing. I’ll go get a menu.” Donny got up and headed to the bar to get a bar and an RnB song rang out from one of the gang of boy’s mobile phone.
“Yeah, yeah soon come. Oi you lot we need to bounce.” The crowd gathered up their things and left as noisily as they entered.
Donny returned to the table, dropped off the menu and confessed that he had to pee and made his way to the little boy’s room. With some time alone I could think. I wondered how Donny made the link with Dupree to put me onto the job in the first place. And this guy, the guy in the photo who’s name I didn’t even know, what was this business that was none of mine? Talk about turn out for the books. £20,000 for expenses. I wondered if Dupree and Husky knew anything about this or if this was just between me and him.
My thoughts were interrupted by Donny coming back to the table wiping his wet hands on his jeans.
“So what do you want to eat?” I apologised for not looking at the menu yet and picked it up.
“I already know what I’m having: Cajun pork and stir fried rice.” He said smacking his lips together. I made a disgusted face “ I don’t go for swine. You know what they say – you are what you eat.” I said browsing the vegetarian side of the menu. Donny laughed a loud laugh.
“That’s what my mate Dave said. He was on a vegetable soup diet. One day he got into it with a gang of yardies. Guess what he is now?” He leaned in closer for the punch line. “A cabbage.”
#2
I woke up to the sound of banging. At first I thought it was my rampant neighbours at it again. Melinda upstairs had hooked up with an older guy, like grandpa old, and managed to get him to fall in love with her. She was one slick bitch. Apparently he was a self made man and after realising he spent his whole life concentrating on making ‘Queens heads’ he wanted to feel young again. She some how managed to persuade him to liquidate all his assets and move in with her. They had been married for three months and she was planning on fucking him to death to reap the eight figure inheritance. She promised to break me some off if I kept her with a steady supply of Viagra for the old man. I was more than happy with the arrangement but it was taking to long to come to an end. I suggested she got him into nose candy because a combo of that, the Viagra and her keeping him on his back would definitely make his heart explode out of his chest. The beautiful thing about it was – how would a coroner ever detect murder?
But no, I knew what their sex sounded like. Just imagine a cat been thrown into scalding hot water (that was him) and an unenthusiastic porn star (that was her). The letterbox started going and knew it was my front door. I eased out of bed, my head pounding from ten too many brandy and cokes last night. I threw a towel around my naked body and walked begrudgingly to the front door.
“Alright, alright!” I called. I opened the latch and the door swung open almost crushing me into the wall.
“Who you got in here?” That was Husky, my boyfriend-ish. He was scanning the hall way as if looking for clues.
“Good morning to you too.” I said sarcastically and stepped passed him into the bathroom and splashed the cold water on to my face. The cold droplets felt like heaven and I wished the council would bless the water so I could wash my sins away. Only you, Kay. I thought to myself. Only me could hook up with an ex-dope fiend that was probably still using. I heard him shouting expletives as he looked for something or someone that obviously wasn’t there.
I started to brush my teeth perhaps harder than I should have, but do you know what? I was on edge. I knew what Husky could get like when he was in one of those moods. My heart practically stopped when I heard him come up behind me. I looked at him in the mirror and saw him standing in the doorway sweating like a rapist. I hadn’t seen him in two days and he was wearing the same clothes that he had on then. My stomach tied itself in knots. I wanted to wash my mouth out, but looking away from the mirror would be a wrong move, especially as my back was to him.
“What, do you think I’m a dickhead?” The answer was yes but it was safer to say no.
“Why was you taking so long to answer the door?” he asked, his eyes locked on mine in the mirror. I spat out the creamy foam and replied “I don’t wait by the front door waiting for you, you know. I was in bed.”
“Why you lying for you dumb bitch?” he slapped the door frame to accentuate the word bitch and I tried my hardest not to flinch. I finally plucked up the courage to speak, “Did you find any one in here?” I spat the foamy liquid out of my mouth and rinsed it out. I was at a disadvantage right now and the sooner I even up my chances the better.
“Don’t get smart. He could have jumped out of the window while you was taking long to answer the door.” I pondered the plausibility of his story – was it likely? Not on you life! I lived on the seventh floor of a twelve story building. Any sane man would rather take his chances with the pounding from the man on the other side of the door than the pounding from the pavement below. I pointed this out to him and he grabbed me around the neck.
“I swear you think because you got some A-Levels you’re the smartest person around here.” His grip got tighter, and just for a second, only a second I wished that he would finish me off. Memories came flooding back of my promising career in medicine before my aunty took sick and I gave up the chance of going to university to take care of her. She died five months before I was due to start, but I lost the ambition to study. There was no point. Plus I learned how lucrative making money from various hustles could be.
I shook myself free of his grip and looked at him through burning eyes. He snatched the towel from around me and I wished I was an octopus so I would have enough arms to cover my modesty.
“You’re acting like I haven’t seen it all before. You don’t know how lucky you are that I even want to see.” He said snarling. He used to be so handsome before he started smoking wash, now he looked like an aged hardened version of himself. Beads of sweat formed on his eyebrows making them glisten and he bared his teeth like a mangy dog.
“Anyways, I ain’t seen you in two days so you should be throwing the pussy at me.” He said rubbing his crotch and spraying my face with spittle at the same time.
“Just move from me, man. What’s wrong with you? Why have you got to act like this all the damn while?” I moved backwards until the cold porcelain sink pressed into my lower back and I knew I had no escape.
“You must want me to knock you out. Do you think I could knock you out?” he started punching the air around me, the breeze from each blow sent goose bumps all over my body. The last punch landed millimetres from my nose. I knew he could lay me out flat like a carpet, I’d seen his impression of Mike Tyson before, in fact it was me he demonstrated it on. My face ached in anticipation. I told him to just do what he was doing and stop talking about it. The worse part of what he did was always the psychological part. His mind games that he would do to break me down before crushing me into the ground like a cockroach.
For the second time that day I woke up with a banging headache. My face felt like it had been caved in and there was a strong smell of baby lotion. I moved my hand across my body and realised I had been washed and clothed. I sat up carefully and saw him sitting on the far corner smoking a cigarette, Marlborough, which I hate the smell of. They stink of shit. He fidgeted around and each movement made my skin crawl.
He turned suddenly and looked at me with wide eyes and started a barrage of questions: “Yo, what happened last night? Did you meet with that white boy? What was he saying? Did he give you any money? What was he like? Do you think he’s right for a rip off? Has he got money? What was he like? Did he give you any? What did he say about the guy he wants you to find? So what, is his pocket fat?”
Now I was really pissed. He knew more about this whole deal than he had let off. He never had mentioned any money to me when he first told me about it. Was I supposed to put my neck on the line so he could reap the rewards? I decided it was time I took charge of the situation.
“He said I wasn’t right for the job. He took one look at me and said I wouldn’t do.” I watched closely for a reaction. He was over animated and a pantomime look of shock took over his face.
“you’re the most dumbest bitch in the world ever. Only you could fuck this thing up, only you.” He pointed at me and then started pacing the room, ranting and raving about how he really needed the money and that Dupree would turn the screws on him now that I hadn’t delivered. I didn’t say a word. There was no point.
“You know you’re going to have to come up with the money innit?” I could see in his twisted mind he was deadly serious.
“What? Why? I was mismatched to the job. The guy wanted a blonde and that clearly isn’t me is it. What am I supposed to do? Do a Michael Jackson so that you and Dupree could be rolling in cash?” he looked me dead in the eye but I wasn’t afraid. I was past that point now. I hated him, and I was going to do everything in my power to make life difficult for him.
“By the end of the week, you’re gonna have the money. You might as well put between your legs to good use, it’s a walking goldmine.” I shuddered as he tried to shake the possibilities of what he could have done while I was knocked out.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, or the day after. Rest up and make sure you’re ready for action.” He flicked the ash from his rank cigarette on my carpet and walked out slamming the front door behind him.
I took a deep breath and walked over to the mirror. The left-hand side of my face was swollen and looked ready to pop and my eye was closed slightly. I thought about just fleeing with the money. Some where like America, where my cash would be instantly doubled and my line of work probably easier to come by. I didn’t want to be part of this any more. The thought of him being able to play a part in my life like that made me want to get as far away as I could. But then I changed my mind again I had things to sort out. I think I might have OCD, I find it impossible to leave loose ends untied.
#3
I took the holdall out of the hiding place in the wardrobe and made my way up the flight of stairs up to Melinda’s.
I knocked the pink door five times before she eventually opened it. She turned and walked back down the hall way looking like John Wayne. I closed the door behind me giggling.
“Yo, Mel, you got any frozen peas?” I asked taking a seat on the brown couch.
She was confused, but then she usually was. She wrinkled up her nose and it made her look like a little fairy.
“Looks like you need a make shift ice pack to sit on.” I said taking a pack of Rizla out of my left pocket and a bag of weed out of the right. I took a copy of Heat Magazine off the glass coffee table and started to build a spliff on a picture of a skinny celeb.
“Awww, mate.” She said shifting in her seat to a more comfortable position. “If I was to sit on it, steam would rise. I’ve been fucking that old codger so much, that any more friction, I think it would spontaneously combust or whatever they call it.” She winced again and I laughed. I chucked her the Rizla and the greenery and she caught it, and the appreciation showed on her face.
“Charlie not helping?” I asked before I licked the Rizla and twisted the paper into an immaculate joint.
“Hell no! he loves Charlie. He’s getting a bit of a taste for it though. He keeps begging for it. I’ve got Dupree coming up here like four times a day to keep Reginald happy. He even wanted me to take some with him.” She said expertly rolling her own spliff.
I paused with the lighter a few inches away from the spliff. I remembered the old days when me and Mel would have coke parties and sniff until our noses bled. Those days were long gone though. I worried she might be slipping back into old habits. She sensed what I was thinking.
“I won’t lie. I did do some lines a couple of times but that life aint for me any more, man. I got a stash of baking powder that I use to humour him. I swear if I sniff any more of that shit, I’ll sneeze and a cake’ll come out.”
I laughed then winced as a pain shot through my face. Mel hung her head like she was embarrassed. She didn’t want to bring up the state of my face. We were good friends and we stayed that way by not asking the wrong questions.
“I don’t mean to pry, but what happened to your face babe?” she spoke whilst blowing out a long plume of smoke. I ran it down to her about Husky coming home high, beating and god knows what ever else to me. I mentioned the job that I was on, but not in too much detail, just the relevant parts. Melinda trembled with rage.
“Let’s kill him. I’ll help you I swear babe. What an animal. I told you that you was way too good for that shit head. I’ll hook you up with one of Reginald’s friends. They’ll treat you good; you don’t need that kind of shit.” She was visibly upset. Tears formed in her eyes and her cheeks glowed red. She looked like how I felt inside but I would never crumble.
“Talk to me...” she said. This was mad. I had never seen Mel like this. She had an icebox heart and no amount of global warming would ever melt that shit. When her dad died a few years ago, she moon walked on his grave and snorted a line off his headstone… in front of the vicar.
“I…” I tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come. Just then the mobile in the holdall started ringing. Donny, I was saved by the bell.
I fumbled with the zip and dropped the spliff on the floor and it burned a steady hole in the carpet. Mel jumped up, “ My fucking carpet!” she screamed. “ its gonna catch on fire.”
“Oh yeah.” I said casually picking up the spliff and perching it in the corner of my mouth. “ And what carpet would that be?” I asked nodding below her waist. She smiled and fell back onto the couch, grabbed the remote control and turned the TV on to Jeremy Kyle.
I finally had the phone to my ear and said “Yo.”
“Hello you, you recovered from last night yet?” He sounded different on the Phone. His voice was deeper, sexier I suppose.
“Just about. Listen Money I need a favour. Can you tell them guys that I weren’t right for the job, like just say you weren’t on me. I’m trying to get from underneath them, and doing this is just a reason for hem to keep me in sight if you get what I’m saying?” There was silence while he thought over my request.
“So, cut out the middle men so to speak.” He asked in a voice that sounded calculating. I could imagine him nodding his head and rubbing his chin. “Fine by me. That Dupree’s a bit of a liability. His got a mouth on him like the Blackwall Tunnel and his gang is just the same. Yeah, I think you’re right. Lets get them out the picture.” I was relieved. I could have kissed him full on the lips.
“so what do you think about what I laid on you yesterday?” he asked. “ think you’re up to the job?”
I told him that I was good for it but just needed to lay low for a few days. I assured him I wasn’t going to back out and as a sign of good faith I would even give him his money back. He told me that wouldn’t be necessary, and that as a sign of good faith, he’ll let me keep the money. He must be loaded I thought. No wonder they wanted to rip him off. Imagine, these guys knew this about him and they never told me. What else about this whole deal were they hiding?
“The main reason why I called was to let you know that I’ll be away for a little while, just a couple of days. Phone me if you have any news and we can meet up and talk.” He hung up. Looks like I wasn’t the only one that needed to keep my head down for a bit. He wanted to go with my plan which was a good thing, so that was one less thing that I had to worry about. Or was it a sign that I had something bigger to worry about? I took a draw on the long zoot and let the herbal push them thoughts to the back of my mind.
“Do you need any help with what you got going on?” Mel drawled. The weed was getting to her and now she spoke in slow-mo.
“I think I might you know. I’ll let you know as and when. Do me a favour though. Keep this some where safe for me.” I nodded at the Holdall and told her she could use what she needed in moderation.
#4
We smoked for a few more hours and the room clouded up until it was foggy with ganja smoke. She joked that it looked like the mist in the valleys. I joked that meant we were gorillas in the mist. She jokingly told me to speak for my self. I jokingly asked her if she was getting racial. She replied flippantly that she could never be racist since she blacks out on a regular basis from drinking too much. I hilariously pointed out that was a white wash. She asked me seriously what we were talking about. I just as seriously told her I didn’t know. We fell about laughing like two hyenas in a Disney movie and then lit another joint. I looked at Mel who had zoned out again and was gazing at the TV screen. Her eyes had slanted up and she looked Chinese. She looked over and told me that my face had gone down but my eye was still a little puffy.
When the six o’clock news came on Mel jumped up and said she needed to get Reggie boy’s dinner ready. “Look at this place he hates a fucking mess. He’s gonna go ape shit.” Her mouth moved quicker than her body could and she looked like a badly dubbed kung-fu movie. I decided to help her by fluffing and re-fluffing the cushions and picking up imaginary pieces of dust from the floor. King Reginald would feel right at home. I went to the window to let some fresh air in. I saw Dupree talking to a very animated Husky who was gesturing wildly. He even pointed in the direction of my bedroom window a few times, I realised that the shit must have hit the fan and I knew I had to come up with a plan fast.
I walked into the kitchen to see what Mel was up to. She had finished washing up but the work surface was still wet and the sponge still bubbled up with washing up liquid. I couldn’t resist. I tore a few sheets from the roll of tissue on the window sill and wiped the surface dry. Mel smiled and shook her head. I shrugged. What could I say?
“Now I need to get his dinner on the go, he’ll be back soon.” I asked her where he had gone while stuffing my mouth full of purple grapes that I found in a fruit bowl on top of the fridge. She told me had gone to see an old friend.
“I’ll tell you what though. He better not be doing anything that would fuck with my money. He said he’ll be back by 6.30 and its already quarter past. That man, he’s got a fucking Accurist watch ticking inside of him not a heart, he’s always bang on time.”
She filled a frying pan half way up with oil and set it on the highest flame on the white gas cooker. Next she took two eggs, a pack of bacon and three slices of bread from the fridge.
“Errr, is that what you feed your man?” I asked disgustedly. I mean, I wasn’t exactly a home maker but I knew that’s not how you fed a man, well not according to my mum anyway.
“Of course I do. You see this right here? Fried bacon, eggs, fried bread. These are the things that clog up your heart and stop it working. Aint you seen the adverts on TV.” She said with an evil grin on her face. I shuddered as I pictured the poor guy’s heart drowning in all that cholesterol. She might as well just rip out his heart and throw it straight into the pan. The pan started to make crackling sounds as she ground up three Viagra pills under a rolling pin.
“Three?!” I exclaimed, hardly able to contain my shock. No wonder they were always at it.
“Yeah, this is a shit batch that you got me this time Kay. When he comes home he’ll take two more and a couple lines of coke. He’s heart is starting to beat so fast these days I reckon it will be any day soon he pegs it.”
“Who pays for all this Charlie you’re always getting?” I was just making conversation but I could see I had touched on something that maybe I shouldn’t have. Her eyes looked shifty and then she answered “Him innit, you think I got that kinda money to support his coke habit?” She was lying. I don’t see why though, it wasn’t really my business and I didn’t really care, I was just making conversation like I said. Even so I said: “You wanna think about giving him some diet coke, you know cutting it again with some of that baking powder you said you got. You don’t want him snorting all that money. Imagine all that fucking for nothing.”
A look of horror spread across her face as the possibility formed in her brain, she quickly dismissed it though. “Kay, he’s a millionaire, and not in single figures either. Not even an army of Kate Mosses could get through that.”
I arrived at Sully’s bar at 8.30 as agreed and I instantly realised why this was the location of choice. For a start, it was in a discreet back street in the south of London. You probably wouldn’t even know if it existed unless you were privy to the secrets of the underworld.
The venue was small and dark, and the bar stood in the left hand corner with blue electric lights just above that reflected into the various bottles that were placed on glass shelves. There were about fifteen tables that each had a red lamp on them and they were just big enough to seat four people. In the right hand corner there was a small stage were a band played the blues to a crowd of about six. This was probably the only place still left in London where smoking wasn’t prohibited and the thick smoke formed grey ribbons in the air, and the smell mixed with the alcohol to create a fragrance that was as familiar to me as my own voice.
I looked around trying to see if there was any one I knew. There were just a couple of the old heads but not any of the neighbourhood watch whose radar it was wise to stay under. When I say neighbourhood watch I’m not talking about the old biddies that have 999 on speed dial, I mean the local people who make a living from being the eyes and ears of the street. Some of the big time gangster would pay a pretty mint to be kept up to date with what’s happening on their patch. But I didn’t have to worry. There wasn’t a hood-a-razzi in sight.
I saw him seated in the back of the club smoking what looked like a Cuban and his hand poised over a glass of something that was dark in colour. I decided it was time for me to make my approach. I walked up to him slowly but confidently: shoulders back, head high and I swayed my hips in time to the jazz.
“Donny?” I asked as if I wasn’t sure. He looked me up and down and squinted as if the light wasn’t enough for him to see me. Then a look spread across his face that said I got a taste so bad in my mouth I’m about to spit.
“I thought they were sending a blonde. I was expecting to see a leggy blonde but you’re – you’re black.”
“Wow, you’re quick Donny. So quick in fact I think they should call you bullet.” I rolled my eyes that weren’t blue.
“So what you saying? You disappointed?” no matter how pissed I was I couldn’t drop the façade. If everything was to go according to plan, I would have to stay on my job and that meant keeping this streak of piss happy.
“No you’re lovely for a… you know what I mean.” His face changed through all the colours of the traffic lights while he awaited my response. Green: sick with fear that I would get a gang of yardies or what ever blacks I could round up to beat the shit out of him. Red: embarrassment had his blood steaming like a pressure cooker and the only vent was the pigmentation of his face. Amber: he could kind of relax, my plastic smile told him it was cool and none of that was going to happen – not just yet anyway.
“Yeah I know its cool.” I said taking a seat on the leather stool directly opposite him.
“Irie!” He said with a drunken smile on his face. What a prick. He relaxed back in his chair and was back to being Money Donny. He took up his peacock stance, you know chest all pushed out like a rooster, cockerel or whatever they all them. Yeah that’s it, the biggest cock in this inner-city that we call a farm that sends hen’s to Jamaica or Columbia on trips coming back squeezing nice golden eggs out of their arses for them.
We sat in silence, him checking me out and me clocking him. He had a white Ben Sherman shirt with the collar up like he was Cantona or something and he spiked his mousy hair up and it stood to attention like mini soldiers on guard.
The bluesy Jazz came to an end and the man on the mic asked in his thick Caribbean accent “Any requests?”
“How about some reggae?” Donny shouted back. The band started playing Pass The Dutchie. Oh please I thought. I guess he wants me to feel at home. Next thing he’ll do is ask me if I want any fried chicken. He smiled at his accomplishment. Yeah Donny, one for the team.
Our silence was broken by a crowd of boys walking in. Local henchmen that had probably been given the day off and the heads up about this place by their boss. They were around my age but I didn’t recognise them. “Yeah let’s celebrate innit” said a small golden brown one making his way to the bar. He passed by our table and winked at me.
“Looks like you have a fan” Donny said eyeing the young buck at the bar making a big deal of buying a bottle of Courvoisier.
“The only fans I need are the ones that you plug in to keep you cool in the summer.” I said screwing up my face into a mischievous grin. Donny threw his head back and laughed. He had enough metal in his mouth to make a rapper look lame and the red light from the lamp turned the amalgam a majestic purple.
The boy strutted back passed waving his bottle of cognac like it was the Champions League trophy. Donny started laughing again and I turned around in time to see the boys passing a skinny spliff between them. “ Wow, that spliffs gonna be sucked on by some many different lips its going to think it’s a dick.” I said and we both laughed as the boys were oblivious they were the butt of our joke.
“So what do you want to drink?” Donny asked, half out of his seat already. I shrugged.
“Erm, I dunno, get me a brandy and coke – Hennessy.” Donny raised his eye brows obviously impressed.
“How do you like it: neat or like my marriage?” I was baffled, “ Like your marriage.” I asked.
“Yeah, on the rocks.” We both laughed as I told him to hold the ice.
When he got back, he put my drink down in front of me and he had one for himself.
“Do you reckon they got aircon up in here?” I asked. He told me that he had asked already and they had told him it was broken. He said the only option was for me to take my coat off and then he’ll see how truly hot I am. Did he mean that if I was genuinely hot, I would take my coat off? Or that when I take my coat off he would see me in my full glory. Any way, who gave a fuck? After one sip of that Henny and I was already sweating like a P.I.G. I took my coat off and flung it on one of the spare seats.
Have you ever had the feeling that you are being watched? I mean really leered at? I looked up coyly and noticed that Donny was transfixed by my chest. My red chiffon top clung to all the right areas and the table lamp made my bra show through. The dirty dog even licked his lips. He’d have to be a pedigree chump if he thought he would ever get to wag his tail at this bitch!
The spell was finally broken and Donny piped up with a far away look in his eyes: “That Ganja smells righteous.” I was shocked. I had him down as the ale and cider kind of guy, but not the sort that was into veg.
“What don’t you smoke?” he asked. His face looked just as shocked as mine.
“yeah but I never had you down as the type.” I said.
“What do I look…” He drew a square shape in the air and I smiled.
“Listen, when we first met I didn’t mean to offend you.” A measured look of sincerity spread across his face. “I mean, I’m not a racist.” He said tapping his sovereign ring on his glass to No Woman No Cry. We all know what’s coming next don’t we…
“I got a few black friends.” Knew it! “And growing up in this part of London, who wouldn’t? And believe me when I say Beyonce and Halle are very sexy ladies. I was jus misled. I made a special request. I’m just a straight forward kinda guy and so what’s on my mind comes out of my mouth. But from being with you, talking to you, I can see I can work with you. From what I’ve seen you’re alright.”
“Not so bad your self Money.” I couldn’t believe it. I was already in their and I hadn’t even launched the full assault yet. I thought he would be a hard nut to crack but he was wide open like a hallway.
“So let’s get down to business then.” I said. I took another sip of my drink and felt the cold liquid trickle down my throat and into my stomach, stimulating my nerve endings along the way.
“Okay. I need you to locate and bring to me this guy.” He reached into what I presume was a bag under the table and produced a photograph. The man in the picture was on a beach somewhere hot and he was lobster red. He looked old school. His face was wrinkle free and there wasn’t a grey hair in site but his sagging body betrayed him as an old head. I never saw him before in my life.
“Yeah, okay, why?” I asked sliding the picture back over the table to him.
“Me and him have got some unfinished business. That business is none of your business, but lets just say that he is a slippery character. We once done a deal and he offered his wife up as collateral. I kept my end of the bargain, but the bastard killed his wife and upped sticks, that was just the beginning.”
I pulled a clove cigarette out of my bag and lit it. The pungent smoke filled the air and Donny turned his nose up at my choice of cigarette. I looked through the smoke into his eyes and saw that there was more to the story than this. He reached into the table again and pulled out a small holdall. I looked inside and there were stacks of pink notes and a mobile phone. He told me the £20,000 was for my expenses and that the phone was to use with any business associated with this project.
“So, the nights still young. We can chit chat, get to know more about each other and strategise if you’re interested.” Donny raised his eye brows expectantly and I couldn’t resist.
“Okay, but I’m starving is there any where to eat?” I asked suddenly realising that my stomach was speaking in a language that only food could understand.
“Yeah, here. They do this world cuisine thing. I’ll go get a menu.” Donny got up and headed to the bar to get a bar and an RnB song rang out from one of the gang of boy’s mobile phone.
“Yeah, yeah soon come. Oi you lot we need to bounce.” The crowd gathered up their things and left as noisily as they entered.
Donny returned to the table, dropped off the menu and confessed that he had to pee and made his way to the little boy’s room. With some time alone I could think. I wondered how Donny made the link with Dupree to put me onto the job in the first place. And this guy, the guy in the photo who’s name I didn’t even know, what was this business that was none of mine? Talk about turn out for the books. £20,000 for expenses. I wondered if Dupree and Husky knew anything about this or if this was just between me and him.
My thoughts were interrupted by Donny coming back to the table wiping his wet hands on his jeans.
“So what do you want to eat?” I apologised for not looking at the menu yet and picked it up.
“I already know what I’m having: Cajun pork and stir fried rice.” He said smacking his lips together. I made a disgusted face “ I don’t go for swine. You know what they say – you are what you eat.” I said browsing the vegetarian side of the menu. Donny laughed a loud laugh.
“That’s what my mate Dave said. He was on a vegetable soup diet. One day he got into it with a gang of yardies. Guess what he is now?” He leaned in closer for the punch line. “A cabbage.”
#2
I woke up to the sound of banging. At first I thought it was my rampant neighbours at it again. Melinda upstairs had hooked up with an older guy, like grandpa old, and managed to get him to fall in love with her. She was one slick bitch. Apparently he was a self made man and after realising he spent his whole life concentrating on making ‘Queens heads’ he wanted to feel young again. She some how managed to persuade him to liquidate all his assets and move in with her. They had been married for three months and she was planning on fucking him to death to reap the eight figure inheritance. She promised to break me some off if I kept her with a steady supply of Viagra for the old man. I was more than happy with the arrangement but it was taking to long to come to an end. I suggested she got him into nose candy because a combo of that, the Viagra and her keeping him on his back would definitely make his heart explode out of his chest. The beautiful thing about it was – how would a coroner ever detect murder?
But no, I knew what their sex sounded like. Just imagine a cat been thrown into scalding hot water (that was him) and an unenthusiastic porn star (that was her). The letterbox started going and knew it was my front door. I eased out of bed, my head pounding from ten too many brandy and cokes last night. I threw a towel around my naked body and walked begrudgingly to the front door.
“Alright, alright!” I called. I opened the latch and the door swung open almost crushing me into the wall.
“Who you got in here?” That was Husky, my boyfriend-ish. He was scanning the hall way as if looking for clues.
“Good morning to you too.” I said sarcastically and stepped passed him into the bathroom and splashed the cold water on to my face. The cold droplets felt like heaven and I wished the council would bless the water so I could wash my sins away. Only you, Kay. I thought to myself. Only me could hook up with an ex-dope fiend that was probably still using. I heard him shouting expletives as he looked for something or someone that obviously wasn’t there.
I started to brush my teeth perhaps harder than I should have, but do you know what? I was on edge. I knew what Husky could get like when he was in one of those moods. My heart practically stopped when I heard him come up behind me. I looked at him in the mirror and saw him standing in the doorway sweating like a rapist. I hadn’t seen him in two days and he was wearing the same clothes that he had on then. My stomach tied itself in knots. I wanted to wash my mouth out, but looking away from the mirror would be a wrong move, especially as my back was to him.
“What, do you think I’m a dickhead?” The answer was yes but it was safer to say no.
“Why was you taking so long to answer the door?” he asked, his eyes locked on mine in the mirror. I spat out the creamy foam and replied “I don’t wait by the front door waiting for you, you know. I was in bed.”
“Why you lying for you dumb bitch?” he slapped the door frame to accentuate the word bitch and I tried my hardest not to flinch. I finally plucked up the courage to speak, “Did you find any one in here?” I spat the foamy liquid out of my mouth and rinsed it out. I was at a disadvantage right now and the sooner I even up my chances the better.
“Don’t get smart. He could have jumped out of the window while you was taking long to answer the door.” I pondered the plausibility of his story – was it likely? Not on you life! I lived on the seventh floor of a twelve story building. Any sane man would rather take his chances with the pounding from the man on the other side of the door than the pounding from the pavement below. I pointed this out to him and he grabbed me around the neck.
“I swear you think because you got some A-Levels you’re the smartest person around here.” His grip got tighter, and just for a second, only a second I wished that he would finish me off. Memories came flooding back of my promising career in medicine before my aunty took sick and I gave up the chance of going to university to take care of her. She died five months before I was due to start, but I lost the ambition to study. There was no point. Plus I learned how lucrative making money from various hustles could be.
I shook myself free of his grip and looked at him through burning eyes. He snatched the towel from around me and I wished I was an octopus so I would have enough arms to cover my modesty.
“You’re acting like I haven’t seen it all before. You don’t know how lucky you are that I even want to see.” He said snarling. He used to be so handsome before he started smoking wash, now he looked like an aged hardened version of himself. Beads of sweat formed on his eyebrows making them glisten and he bared his teeth like a mangy dog.
“Anyways, I ain’t seen you in two days so you should be throwing the pussy at me.” He said rubbing his crotch and spraying my face with spittle at the same time.
“Just move from me, man. What’s wrong with you? Why have you got to act like this all the damn while?” I moved backwards until the cold porcelain sink pressed into my lower back and I knew I had no escape.
“You must want me to knock you out. Do you think I could knock you out?” he started punching the air around me, the breeze from each blow sent goose bumps all over my body. The last punch landed millimetres from my nose. I knew he could lay me out flat like a carpet, I’d seen his impression of Mike Tyson before, in fact it was me he demonstrated it on. My face ached in anticipation. I told him to just do what he was doing and stop talking about it. The worse part of what he did was always the psychological part. His mind games that he would do to break me down before crushing me into the ground like a cockroach.
For the second time that day I woke up with a banging headache. My face felt like it had been caved in and there was a strong smell of baby lotion. I moved my hand across my body and realised I had been washed and clothed. I sat up carefully and saw him sitting on the far corner smoking a cigarette, Marlborough, which I hate the smell of. They stink of shit. He fidgeted around and each movement made my skin crawl.
He turned suddenly and looked at me with wide eyes and started a barrage of questions: “Yo, what happened last night? Did you meet with that white boy? What was he saying? Did he give you any money? What was he like? Do you think he’s right for a rip off? Has he got money? What was he like? Did he give you any? What did he say about the guy he wants you to find? So what, is his pocket fat?”
Now I was really pissed. He knew more about this whole deal than he had let off. He never had mentioned any money to me when he first told me about it. Was I supposed to put my neck on the line so he could reap the rewards? I decided it was time I took charge of the situation.
“He said I wasn’t right for the job. He took one look at me and said I wouldn’t do.” I watched closely for a reaction. He was over animated and a pantomime look of shock took over his face.
“you’re the most dumbest bitch in the world ever. Only you could fuck this thing up, only you.” He pointed at me and then started pacing the room, ranting and raving about how he really needed the money and that Dupree would turn the screws on him now that I hadn’t delivered. I didn’t say a word. There was no point.
“You know you’re going to have to come up with the money innit?” I could see in his twisted mind he was deadly serious.
“What? Why? I was mismatched to the job. The guy wanted a blonde and that clearly isn’t me is it. What am I supposed to do? Do a Michael Jackson so that you and Dupree could be rolling in cash?” he looked me dead in the eye but I wasn’t afraid. I was past that point now. I hated him, and I was going to do everything in my power to make life difficult for him.
“By the end of the week, you’re gonna have the money. You might as well put between your legs to good use, it’s a walking goldmine.” I shuddered as he tried to shake the possibilities of what he could have done while I was knocked out.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, or the day after. Rest up and make sure you’re ready for action.” He flicked the ash from his rank cigarette on my carpet and walked out slamming the front door behind him.
I took a deep breath and walked over to the mirror. The left-hand side of my face was swollen and looked ready to pop and my eye was closed slightly. I thought about just fleeing with the money. Some where like America, where my cash would be instantly doubled and my line of work probably easier to come by. I didn’t want to be part of this any more. The thought of him being able to play a part in my life like that made me want to get as far away as I could. But then I changed my mind again I had things to sort out. I think I might have OCD, I find it impossible to leave loose ends untied.
#3
I took the holdall out of the hiding place in the wardrobe and made my way up the flight of stairs up to Melinda’s.
I knocked the pink door five times before she eventually opened it. She turned and walked back down the hall way looking like John Wayne. I closed the door behind me giggling.
“Yo, Mel, you got any frozen peas?” I asked taking a seat on the brown couch.
She was confused, but then she usually was. She wrinkled up her nose and it made her look like a little fairy.
“Looks like you need a make shift ice pack to sit on.” I said taking a pack of Rizla out of my left pocket and a bag of weed out of the right. I took a copy of Heat Magazine off the glass coffee table and started to build a spliff on a picture of a skinny celeb.
“Awww, mate.” She said shifting in her seat to a more comfortable position. “If I was to sit on it, steam would rise. I’ve been fucking that old codger so much, that any more friction, I think it would spontaneously combust or whatever they call it.” She winced again and I laughed. I chucked her the Rizla and the greenery and she caught it, and the appreciation showed on her face.
“Charlie not helping?” I asked before I licked the Rizla and twisted the paper into an immaculate joint.
“Hell no! he loves Charlie. He’s getting a bit of a taste for it though. He keeps begging for it. I’ve got Dupree coming up here like four times a day to keep Reginald happy. He even wanted me to take some with him.” She said expertly rolling her own spliff.
I paused with the lighter a few inches away from the spliff. I remembered the old days when me and Mel would have coke parties and sniff until our noses bled. Those days were long gone though. I worried she might be slipping back into old habits. She sensed what I was thinking.
“I won’t lie. I did do some lines a couple of times but that life aint for me any more, man. I got a stash of baking powder that I use to humour him. I swear if I sniff any more of that shit, I’ll sneeze and a cake’ll come out.”
I laughed then winced as a pain shot through my face. Mel hung her head like she was embarrassed. She didn’t want to bring up the state of my face. We were good friends and we stayed that way by not asking the wrong questions.
“I don’t mean to pry, but what happened to your face babe?” she spoke whilst blowing out a long plume of smoke. I ran it down to her about Husky coming home high, beating and god knows what ever else to me. I mentioned the job that I was on, but not in too much detail, just the relevant parts. Melinda trembled with rage.
“Let’s kill him. I’ll help you I swear babe. What an animal. I told you that you was way too good for that shit head. I’ll hook you up with one of Reginald’s friends. They’ll treat you good; you don’t need that kind of shit.” She was visibly upset. Tears formed in her eyes and her cheeks glowed red. She looked like how I felt inside but I would never crumble.
“Talk to me...” she said. This was mad. I had never seen Mel like this. She had an icebox heart and no amount of global warming would ever melt that shit. When her dad died a few years ago, she moon walked on his grave and snorted a line off his headstone… in front of the vicar.
“I…” I tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come. Just then the mobile in the holdall started ringing. Donny, I was saved by the bell.
I fumbled with the zip and dropped the spliff on the floor and it burned a steady hole in the carpet. Mel jumped up, “ My fucking carpet!” she screamed. “ its gonna catch on fire.”
“Oh yeah.” I said casually picking up the spliff and perching it in the corner of my mouth. “ And what carpet would that be?” I asked nodding below her waist. She smiled and fell back onto the couch, grabbed the remote control and turned the TV on to Jeremy Kyle.
I finally had the phone to my ear and said “Yo.”
“Hello you, you recovered from last night yet?” He sounded different on the Phone. His voice was deeper, sexier I suppose.
“Just about. Listen Money I need a favour. Can you tell them guys that I weren’t right for the job, like just say you weren’t on me. I’m trying to get from underneath them, and doing this is just a reason for hem to keep me in sight if you get what I’m saying?” There was silence while he thought over my request.
“So, cut out the middle men so to speak.” He asked in a voice that sounded calculating. I could imagine him nodding his head and rubbing his chin. “Fine by me. That Dupree’s a bit of a liability. His got a mouth on him like the Blackwall Tunnel and his gang is just the same. Yeah, I think you’re right. Lets get them out the picture.” I was relieved. I could have kissed him full on the lips.
“so what do you think about what I laid on you yesterday?” he asked. “ think you’re up to the job?”
I told him that I was good for it but just needed to lay low for a few days. I assured him I wasn’t going to back out and as a sign of good faith I would even give him his money back. He told me that wouldn’t be necessary, and that as a sign of good faith, he’ll let me keep the money. He must be loaded I thought. No wonder they wanted to rip him off. Imagine, these guys knew this about him and they never told me. What else about this whole deal were they hiding?
“The main reason why I called was to let you know that I’ll be away for a little while, just a couple of days. Phone me if you have any news and we can meet up and talk.” He hung up. Looks like I wasn’t the only one that needed to keep my head down for a bit. He wanted to go with my plan which was a good thing, so that was one less thing that I had to worry about. Or was it a sign that I had something bigger to worry about? I took a draw on the long zoot and let the herbal push them thoughts to the back of my mind.
“Do you need any help with what you got going on?” Mel drawled. The weed was getting to her and now she spoke in slow-mo.
“I think I might you know. I’ll let you know as and when. Do me a favour though. Keep this some where safe for me.” I nodded at the Holdall and told her she could use what she needed in moderation.
#4
We smoked for a few more hours and the room clouded up until it was foggy with ganja smoke. She joked that it looked like the mist in the valleys. I joked that meant we were gorillas in the mist. She jokingly told me to speak for my self. I jokingly asked her if she was getting racial. She replied flippantly that she could never be racist since she blacks out on a regular basis from drinking too much. I hilariously pointed out that was a white wash. She asked me seriously what we were talking about. I just as seriously told her I didn’t know. We fell about laughing like two hyenas in a Disney movie and then lit another joint. I looked at Mel who had zoned out again and was gazing at the TV screen. Her eyes had slanted up and she looked Chinese. She looked over and told me that my face had gone down but my eye was still a little puffy.
When the six o’clock news came on Mel jumped up and said she needed to get Reggie boy’s dinner ready. “Look at this place he hates a fucking mess. He’s gonna go ape shit.” Her mouth moved quicker than her body could and she looked like a badly dubbed kung-fu movie. I decided to help her by fluffing and re-fluffing the cushions and picking up imaginary pieces of dust from the floor. King Reginald would feel right at home. I went to the window to let some fresh air in. I saw Dupree talking to a very animated Husky who was gesturing wildly. He even pointed in the direction of my bedroom window a few times, I realised that the shit must have hit the fan and I knew I had to come up with a plan fast.
I walked into the kitchen to see what Mel was up to. She had finished washing up but the work surface was still wet and the sponge still bubbled up with washing up liquid. I couldn’t resist. I tore a few sheets from the roll of tissue on the window sill and wiped the surface dry. Mel smiled and shook her head. I shrugged. What could I say?
“Now I need to get his dinner on the go, he’ll be back soon.” I asked her where he had gone while stuffing my mouth full of purple grapes that I found in a fruit bowl on top of the fridge. She told me had gone to see an old friend.
“I’ll tell you what though. He better not be doing anything that would fuck with my money. He said he’ll be back by 6.30 and its already quarter past. That man, he’s got a fucking Accurist watch ticking inside of him not a heart, he’s always bang on time.”
She filled a frying pan half way up with oil and set it on the highest flame on the white gas cooker. Next she took two eggs, a pack of bacon and three slices of bread from the fridge.
“Errr, is that what you feed your man?” I asked disgustedly. I mean, I wasn’t exactly a home maker but I knew that’s not how you fed a man, well not according to my mum anyway.
“Of course I do. You see this right here? Fried bacon, eggs, fried bread. These are the things that clog up your heart and stop it working. Aint you seen the adverts on TV.” She said with an evil grin on her face. I shuddered as I pictured the poor guy’s heart drowning in all that cholesterol. She might as well just rip out his heart and throw it straight into the pan. The pan started to make crackling sounds as she ground up three Viagra pills under a rolling pin.
“Three?!” I exclaimed, hardly able to contain my shock. No wonder they were always at it.
“Yeah, this is a shit batch that you got me this time Kay. When he comes home he’ll take two more and a couple lines of coke. He’s heart is starting to beat so fast these days I reckon it will be any day soon he pegs it.”
“Who pays for all this Charlie you’re always getting?” I was just making conversation but I could see I had touched on something that maybe I shouldn’t have. Her eyes looked shifty and then she answered “Him innit, you think I got that kinda money to support his coke habit?” She was lying. I don’t see why though, it wasn’t really my business and I didn’t really care, I was just making conversation like I said. Even so I said: “You wanna think about giving him some diet coke, you know cutting it again with some of that baking powder you said you got. You don’t want him snorting all that money. Imagine all that fucking for nothing.”
A look of horror spread across her face as the possibility formed in her brain, she quickly dismissed it though. “Kay, he’s a millionaire, and not in single figures either. Not even an army of Kate Mosses could get through that.”
